trying hard to stay strong, but i could no longer hold it...

When is the last time i truely cry? i really can't remember.
is it because i have too much thoughts in my head that i could barely hold?
is it because i was too obedient that i wasn't given a chance to turn to the evil devil for once?
or is it simply because i'm just too tired.
i couldnt control my tears and let them rolled onto my cheeks like river flows.

"i just don't know what i want."