as usual, im under tremendous amount of stress. perhaps, it is building up every sec, min and hour. i feel remorseful when i know i didnt put in my utmost effort for each and every things. and it gets worse when i really get a pile of shit in return. frankly speaking, i lose steam quite easily. how to sustain the momentum? i really have no idea. i only know that the more i work hard, the more giddy i feel. it is as though i'm only spinning around with my head. so sick and scary.