nerve-wrecking experience

I was held back for a long period of time.
And when i wanted to give it a try,
I might not have the chance anymore.


As the date gets closer, the more i feel nerve-wrecking.
i'm worried, tensed, afraid...
the bumping sound on my apartment's ceiling has stopped,
but i realised my heart beats faster when i thought of
the nightmarish issue.
can i just fast forward the time and
let me take a peep of my results?
no matter how bad it is,
at least i'm mentally prepared.
i can start to plan ahead instead of having to waste the time here.
i remembered the last time i got so nerve-wrecking was last yr?
the mid-course cum promotion.
i can't get myself to sleep.
i stayed up quite late just to read books/listen to radio.
ps: the songs played after midnight were always the best :)
i tried to struggle my life through.
it was never a nice experience for me, NEVER.
this time, i'm experiencing it again. 2months.
am i still able to struggle through??