shameful

you know, i was kind of guilty today.
terribly yes.
but a little more than guilty was sadness.
it wasn't cos of the shopping trip i've had with yy and hl.
hell, the trip was exhilarating can.
but i suddenly feel that i wasn't putting my best effort in the academic field for the past 2 years.
i feel terrible, and i'm shameful of myself.
what has those strong faith and spirit gone to?
if i've another chance again, perhaps i'll treasure something more than now.
honestly speaking, the environment that you're staying in,
influences your soul, your mind, your behaviour...
hell, what have i done to my life?
i'm sinking in deep and deeper,
i need to pull myself out from this bottomless pit.
i'm going to change my life, i'm GOING TO.
when? i can't tell you, cos it's unpredictable.

i'm gonna get some books to read soon.
1 no-fiction book (can't rmb the title) and BREAKING DAWN.
i'm seriously bored to death.
life seems to get a little meaningless these days.
plainly sleep, eat, watch TeeVee, eat and sleep.
don't make your life becomes like mine!



(ps: NEW MOON on 3rd DEC! :)