||ruined||

suddenly,
i come to realise that negative thoughts are unable to ease away easily.
really difficult.
it simply came over my mind without my notice
and i guess it was out of control.
once again,
i've a gush of feelings which was undescribable.
an utter bad one.
i ponder why.
it was as if i've did something sinful
and the next moment,
i realised that my eyes were wet with tears.
oh gosh.
why?!
well,
i supposed i'm still a bad girl.
be more well-disciplined and fillial are what i ought to do here, i guess.
alright,
something suddenly came through my mind.
and i guess i've finally knew the reason behinds
for having such a terrible feelings all along,
somehow.
i'm a failure.