oh i'm extremely tired man.
well, as i've mentioned before, today i've went cycling with vivien. but it seems to be rather not as fruitful as i've expected. sigh.
guess what, we got to reach pasir ris park by bus! and it was the FIRST time i went there by bus okay. how exciting! haha:) when we've reached, it happens to be so -empty- there ya? *surprisingly* and it seems that the entire park is ours. haha. we managed to rent a bike each and i was kinda stupid ya. DON'T know how to cycle!! hence, i was been taught how to cycle but i just couldn't make it! oh god. urgh.. i simply couldn't balance myself and that's stupid okay, i know. furthermore, i don't really have the gut to step onto the 'paddles' with both legs and BALANCE myself. why can't i just simply challenge myself just for this time around; for goddness' sake? oh god. yea, i'm juat a total failure and that's what i couldn't deny. to be frank, really i did tell myself that, 'well, come one try it, if you didn't even try to take the risk, you'll never succeed'. yar, i've told myself that okay but i just simply couldn't control my thoughts. oh man. after so-so many times of trying and telling myself 'please TRY', i decided to give up. i've surrendered. *white flag* it's like no matter how hard i tried, i simply just couldn't do it! i've no choice but to really give up on this sport. please, i really couldn't do it can. can't force myself any further,and that's my limits. however if there's any opportunity to try and learn cycling again, well i'll be most gladful to try it again. regardless whether if i'm going to have it succeed or not, i'm going to TRY no matter what. getting depression and feeling exhausted after that. *a big SIGH* trying the best i could but utterly unsatisfied about the the result i get.
however what really cheers me up a little was that, i happen to go to the beach and that's what i alway wanted, isn't it? haha. and-and it was indeed marvellous!! cool air and sea waves. *fantastic* and so i've came to the right place ey? haha.
went to tampines mall after that and stuff, strolling around some of the shops which happen to contain some many brilliant clothings. however, i'm only able to stand there and watch. no buying. sigh. well, vivien gets to buy something for herself. good for her. haha *raining heavily*
went home with exhaustion after that. extremely fatigue and restless. i'm so down today=[
i'm fatigue;
seriously.
i feel like giving up;
but i'm confused;
should i or should not?
i'm totally a failure;
isn't that what i am?
but really;
is it a MUST to risk myself
to get myself succeed?
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