Complex

I'm not sure what God has planned for me or why He is planning this way. Honestly speaking, I'm in a dilemma. I hope things don't complicate else I don't know how to choose. How I wish I could decide using my gut feeling instead of my mind.

Till then.

Not knowing

I realised once opportunity has slipped away, it's going to be real difficult to find another easily. I won't say I'm in a tough journey right now because it hasn't started yet. On a pessimistic side, I am in a stagnant situation, not knowing what God has planned ahead for me. It feels helpless simply waiting, couldn't do anything. Honestly, it is a miserable feeling. However, very often I told myself perhaps the time isn't right or it just happened that way such that I could learn some lessons from it. I have to admit I am not a lucky person and the journey so far hasn't been smooth-sailing. But I believe what's meant for me will be mine eventually.
Till then.

Mixed experiences

I was feeling grateful for all the sweet-sour-bitter-spicy experiences I had encountered for the past few months.  While there were moments I had difficulties making decisions, I don't regret making them. In life, there will always be a point where you are standing at a crossroad wondering which path to embark on or whether the decision you have made is deemed right. Knowing your priority is important. For me, i won't give a second thoughts deciding what are my priorities. I am well aware of my priorities. They are there to shape me; to become the person who I want to be in the future. And i don't mind sacrificing the less important things. If they were meant to live in my life, I'll eventually meet them regardless of time. Till then.

I was feeling all sentimental for the past two days as the death of someone with profound knowledge was announced. It triggers my memories; remembering someone so dear to my heart. Time seals the wound but not memories. I thought I was someone so emotionally strong that nothing hurts me. But the truth is, I am not. I am someone who are so torn apart that a hard shell has concealed my fragile self. Perhaps, I am an old woman in a young body experiencing life all over again.

I can't believe I still remember this little space of mine.
Life has been filled with ups and downs, but all these little experiences I had gained thus far, shaped and nurtured me. I have started to find out my own weaknesses and strengths. In short, discovering who I really am. My definition of learning is no longer the same which I thought it was. Learning goes beyond academy, it includes building our characters and improving our soft skills.  

2014 is a year in which I experienced the lost of my loved ones and going through a huge transition in various life aspects. As we grow, things get more complexed and we begin to realise we could no longer act like a child we once were. There is a huge gap between childhood and adulthood. To cross over, it certainly requires huge effort to adapt. Frankly speaking, I am still trying to adapt.

Alright, enough of my reflection for now. I shall continue if time allows.

I'm so grateful and happy that I nearly wanted to cry. OMG.
I finally realised what's the meaning of "tears of joy".
I'm gonna try my best and do v well for final because i'm given a chance for that.
:):):):):):):)

<3 p="">

I SEE IT.
ALL BY MYSELF.

okay, youtube videos are really really too amazing that i'm totally obsessed.
they're so tempting, i couldn't even get my butt off the chair!!
i swear.
this is seriously very bad.
i should be doing other stuff but i just can't leave my com away.
OH-MY!

I actually really missed studying already.
I swear.
It's bad waking up everyday with an alarm clock, staying up late at ungodly hour
and trying all means to keep myself awake till the night.
Despite all these, I still love being occupied with school work.
Thinking about it, I only left a few years before stepping into the working world.
I can never enjoy the privileges that a student could have again.
so people out there who are still studying, do cherish your academic years.
Anyway, I'm kind of preparing for next semester eg, printing out some syllabus and whatnot.
I know it's like "Hello, it's school holidays, girl! You should be enjoying your life right now!"
But well, I'm enjoying it! Just that I'm getting myself somehow prepared for next sem.
I LOVE LOVE buying stationary, books, files and planners. You don't know how obsessed I'm into it.
I guess i'll stop here.
And enjoy your upcoming christmas day! :)

ENDED.

YES.

NO.

STARTING.

Accept the past and embrace the future.

You got to accept the mistakes you've committed,
the wrong decisions you have made.
You regret but never dwell in it.
Tell yourself,
"The war has started."
Be brave, be prepared.
Fight hard and do your very best.
Let's fight through this war,
with wounds & injuries,
AND survive.


"Never let the past holds you down"

i know He is teaching me a lesson.
Everything happen for a reason.
I'll endure all the pain and unfortunate events which are happening on me.


"I'll stay strong."

Omg, prof is so horrible that he is gonna include all the content that he's gonna cover into a quiz.
OMGGGGGG.
scream, ppl, scream!
I was like stunned when i heard him saying that. *jaw dropped*

YES, GONNA BE OPTIMISTIC :)

I HEART MY CAMERA...

and i saw it dropping on the rough ground totally hurt me.
oooooh my...
"are you okay?"
I picked it up and
oooooh NO!
the paint and lens...
*speechless*
my heart cried for ya, camera,
bcos you don't deserve to be treated this way...



MY DARLING CAMERA~~~~

I thought recess week is a great week for me.
But it turns out bad.
I've to prepare a lot of things which includes tutorials, lab report etc.
It's really scary to see how time flies day after day.
It's scary...
Better chase after the time before it's out of my sight!


"YES, I CAN DO IT"

1 MORE DAY!

OH LORD, HOW NICE!

Even before recess week, i'm gonna shop already.
Nail polish and whatever that are nice and pretty,
HERE I COME.

Yes, i'm here b'cos i'm too tired to do anything except watching videos online & doing other nonsensical things.
Well, i guess i should really count down to the days to RECESS WEEEK!

>>>>> 3 more days! (i'm including this sat and sun into my recess week too :P )

Oh gosh, really can't wait!!!
I'm in need of long hour sleep and shopping.
I do still remember week 1 & 2 were my energising weeks.
I could do so many things without feeling tired/demoralised.
And right here, i'm like a sick owl. (you know, like all the feathers are dropping and looks really crappy)
Basically, i'm just too lethargic/lazy to tidy myself.
Oh yea, i have bought a few nail polish for the past few weeks.
will upload photos soon and they are really pretty! :)

Just to update a lil.
Life has been quite bad due to the numerous quizzes, presentation, project for the ongoing weeks.
Yes, with the addition of violin lesson, street jazz lesson as well as tuition.
It's really getting the hell out of me.
But yes, i'm gonna pull through.
Seriously not the time to give up when you know that you can plan your timetable and make the best out of it.

okay, tadda.


"NO PAIN, NO GAIN"

JUST.SHUT.UP.